CinemaDave (cinemadave) wrote,

Further adventures at the Romantic Times Convention in Daytona

As I wrote this column, I was watching "ESPN Classics:
The Joe Louis Story" in the hopes that my Dad does not
call me a girlie man. I attended the Romantic Times
Convention in Daytona and this is my story.

After covering ten film festivals, five horror and
science fiction conventions in the state of Florida, I
felt I was ready to take on the challenge of attending
the Romantic Times Convention in Daytona
Florida. Mixing business with pleasure and, in the
spirit of the Ernst Lubitsch comedies from the 1930s,
I was hoping to run into the future Mrs. Cinema Dave.

My credentials as a swashbuckling journalist meant
nothing, nor did my employment stability with the
Broward County Libraries Division. I was doomed the
minute the minute I entered Ellora's Cave. The 2007
Men of Romance Calendar had entered the room.

These guys had to be the forgotten love children of
Conan the Barbarian and the Fabulous Moolah. These
gentlemen represented all colors and creeds, all
shapes and sizes. Some had long hair and spoke with a
foreign accent. They were friendly, so I did not fear
that they were going to beat me up and take away my
milk money. Of course, I could not like these hybrid
humans, these were the sensitive guys that most girls
from my high school seemed to flock to, the gymnasts
who could recite Shakespearean sonnets while stoned.

Those old feelings from high school inferiority
returned to me the next night with the Vampires of the
Caribbean. As I stood around, literary doing nothing,
I raised my elbow, which bumped into a woman's bust.
The Anne Rice wannabe yelled at me,

“Careful, they are real!”

I apologized and mentioned that if they weren't
real, my brother-in-law is a plastic surgeon and he
can fix them if I break them. The vampire princess
seemed impressed with my brother-in-law, until one of
the super male romance models walked by.
End of conversation.

Just like my high school career, I buried my
heartbreak in academics. Wednesday had workshops on
the theme of Erotica. From this workshop I learned the
importance of word choice when describing the act know.

Thursday mostly focused on Vampires. This subject received the most
popular attendance and the echoes of laughter could be
heard from the other rooms. Poor Bela Lugosi must be
must be pulling the hair out of his undead head.

If I took away one lesson from the Romantic Times
Convention in Daytona - is the need to work on my
abdominal muscles. As I watch Joe Louis lose his last
fight to the future heavyweight champion of the world,
Rocky Marciano, the Brown Bomber was considered an old
man at age 38 and fat at
212lbs. As for me, I am older and I weight more.

Yet, no old enough or fat enough to fear being called
a “girlie man” by my World War II Veteran father.
Vanity can be a positive motivator sometimes.
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